example of “the chair”. The speaker usually says something like “all of us can look at this chair and say that we believe that it will hold us up. But we do not truly show our trust until we believe enough to sit down.”
I think I used to have that kind of trust. Simple faith in simple
things. But we do not have a simple God. Maybe it is the process of maturing or just growing older…or perhaps it is that “when we are faithful in the little things, we are then given much.” Whatever the reason – I don’t think that simple faith is enough anymore. I’ve been through too much. I’ve seen too much. I need a powerful trust.
I have survived a good number of trials and tragedies in my lifetime, some of which have been chronicled here in this blog. House fires, rape, the loss of my niece, divorce, the loss of my sister, the loss of my brother, the loss of my mother, a life-threatening accident…too many to mention. So many things that have rocked my world. Through them all I have learned a little bit about trust, but each day I learn more as I listen to my friends from other places around the world.
Imagine, for a moment, living in a country void of many of the amenities that we take for granted – not to mention food and shelter and the mere things necessary for life. Imagine fearing for your own life enough that you are willing to risk it to attempt escape – crossing through one hell to escape another. The whole time believing that God is with you and will be your salvation. How much trust does that take? How many times do you have to remind yourself in those circumstances that like David in Psalm 139 “if I make my bed in hell, behold thou art there.”
And what about that moment when your name is called to go to America – but they tell you that you are going alone. Your family must stay behind. What kind of trust does it take to step onto an airplane which you have never even seen before; to be confined in that space for twenty hours or more; to land in another country, in a city that you have never heard of; to start a life among people who don’t look like you, talk like you, or live like you? I cannot fathom it. Terrifying. What an act of trust to believe that there is something better than the madness you have known.
Yet, unlike my friends, I have often been so willing to sit in my despondency…or my shame…or my hopelessness…or my pride…or my fear. So often I have not been willing to walk through the door toward a better way. These are lessons I can learn from my friends. Lessons of perseverance and strength. But
today’s lesson is trust.
I feel like God is calling me to a new place in my life. And some days I AM terrified. But if I look back on my journey there are so many places where He has already called me out of my comfort zone to something beyond what I can see. And when I have been faithful to trust – He has been faithful to carry
me through.
I am reminded as I write that if God is on my side, what do I have to fear (Psalm 118:6)? If I believe that God is sovereign, then I must believe that I am secure in His hands whether I live or whether I perish. I am almost positive that, if God tarries in His return to this earth, we will face persecution in our lifetime. I want my heart to be ready. I want to be bold enough to stand in those days. I want to be full of God’s grace that others may see His glory in those days. And I want to be strong enough to face each of those days as if it were my last.
I know that God has walked with me through each day that I have already lived. He has sustained me when all else has failed. I do not know when it will be my day to breathe my last breath, but I pray that the last breath to cross my lips will reverberate with the truth that “whatever my lot, thou has taught me to say, it is well, it is well with my soul.”