A few weeks ago, I was working with a young man who had been serving time in jail. From the moment I met him several months ago, there was something in his eyes that captured my heart. Even before I knew God had a plan. Even before I knew I was a part of that plan.
His life shows on his face. It shows in his body language. It shows in his tattoos. It shows in how he cares for himself, and how he doesn’t. But somehow I didn’t see it. Somehow his “reality” eluded me. Don’t get me wrong. I could see the pain and anger and hurt. But rather than fearing him or avoiding him, I was drawn to him.
It doesn’t happen all the time, but once in a while God overwhelms my heart and lets me see what He sees. I have prayed the prayer “break my heart for what breaks Yours” and I think that God has been honoring that prayer a little more each day.
Sometimes what fills me is great sorrow – sorrow for those who cannot seem to see how much God loves them. And sometimes it is love that overflows my heart. Love for those who have never experienced unconditional love – love that doesn’t see them through the scars of their past, but rather through the hope of a future unchained.
I don’t think I realized I had this “blind spot” for my young friend until a few weeks ago. I had picked him up from the jail and taken him to a shelter for young men with no place to go and with no one to love them. We stood in the parking lot under and tree and talked for a long time. We were talking about life, and forgiveness, and new beginnings. Since the only photo I had ever had of him was his mug shot, I asked if I could take a picture. He granted me permission and I had my new snapshot of his life. I saw “new” and “possibility”.
Over supper I shared my picture with a friend and there was a look that came over his face. Even though it wasn’t stated, it was implied. He saw “this is what you waste your time on?” and “what value do you see here?” My heart stuttered. I took the phone and looked at him myself. There it was. The thing that I had not been seeing. The thing that everyone else sees…when he walks down the street, when he walks into a store, when he walks into church. I saw “failure”. And it hurt. It hurt because I realized in that moment how many times I have seen people in their earthly clothes and not recognized their heavenly potential. I have judged people for what I see and not who they are or could be.
I wept. I wrestled with God. I asked Him to help me get back His perspective. I believe He has, though I think I still have a little jadedness that clouds my view. I want to see each soul ONLY as He sees them. I long to see the beauty in the tree before it blooms. I want to see the strength in a building before it is fully built. I look for the fire in a heart that seems to have no life. To see anything less, for me, would take away my reason to love. I want to speak God’s truth and life and love into people and it is hard to do that if I only see their wrong. Another broken young man said these words to me last night … “When I speak with you I feel that every word I say is important.” There is no greater compliment he could have given and I hope this will be true of me always.