Earlier this evening I went to the store. I spent the day with amazing friends. I was full of God and full of joy. And then I went to the store. There is a Dollar General here in our little town. It is usually quite busy but it is convenient as it is on the way from almost everywhere. Tonight was no exception. I picked up what I went for and then got in the line of five or six people waiting to check out.
The husband and wife in front of me were refugees. They were quiet and unassuming. The gentleman had two products that were relatively similar and he was struggling to read the label to ascertain the difference. They arrived at the cash register and he asked the clerk which one was better. It took three attempts at asking before he was understood. She told him they were the same. While she was somewhat correct, it was also not exactly true. One container was green and one was yellow. He was confused and she was aggravated. She snapped and asked him which one he wanted. He finally pointed to the yellow one and she threw the other one under the counter.
Next, she spat out the amount on the register. $2.68. Their young son repeated this for his dad. And then his dad took out his wallet and started to figure out which bills he needed. He took out two dollar bills and set them on the counter. Well, actually he dropped them to the counter. Well, this was a trigger of some kind for the clerk and she started spouting off. “Uh-uh…no sir. You will not throw your money on the counter. You will place it in my hand. That is what good people do. They place the money in your hand.” Either he did not understand or he didn’t hear her as he was still searching for another dollar bill. When he finally pulled that one out, he dropped it next to the other two.
This enraged our clerk and she now had an agenda. “I told you that you will not throw your money at me. I am not a dog.” Hmm…first of all I have never thrown money at a dog. I thought that was an interesting choice of words. And second of all…isn’t that how you are treating him right now? These are the thoughts that are running through my head.
The man was even more confused now. He picked up one of the dollar bills and put it back in his wallet. He repeated the amount - $2.68. And then he proceeded to try to find the right coins. “I have other customers. Don’t you see the line?” He dug for a couple of seconds and then said he didn’t have the right coins and he laid the dollar bill back down again. “Is right?” he asked. When he spoke these words he burped. And there she went again while waving her hands around as if a skunk had just sprayed the store. “Oh, that is just awful! You have to say excuse me when you do that.”
I am not sure if he figured out what she wanted him to do or if it was a fluke, but he finally picked up the money and laid it in her hands. She gave him his change and chided him like a five year old. “That is how it is done. See I gave you your change in your hand.”
Now you may think that I am mad at her and I guess that if I was honest I would say that I was. But really, I was more mad at myself for not standing up to the clerk. I never opened my mouth at all. And somehow, that feels as wrong as spewing ugliness. You see, there were at least three times I wanted to step up to the counter and place the money in that wretched woman’s hand, but as you can see by the words I chose, I knew that it would not be with love and kindness. I would have had venom in my tongue and that would not have taught the lesson I wanted to teach. So instead, I smiled at the wife so that she would know that I saw her – not as the clerk saw her – but as a friend; someone who did not judge her for the color of her skin or the lost language between us. Someone who, like her, just needed to stop at the store to pick up a couple of things on the way home. But in my heart I still can’t justify whether or not that was enough.
Our attitude matters. I may never have been as ugly as this clerk was to another human being, but I have held disdain in my heart. And it seeps out. And it is sin whether or not I speak it out. “As a man thinks in his heart, so is he.” (Proverbs 23:7) Whether it is a stranger who dresses differently, or your boss, or your child, or your spouse – it doesn’t matter, they are still human beings made in the image and likeness of God. How dare we put them under our feet?