through a book called “The Artist’s Way” with a few friends. “Morning pages” let you take off the filters. You don’t write for an audience – you write to get out what is inside. This has had a huge impact on my life. I have to do this. It cleanses my soul so that my spirit can be freed to do what it was put on this earth to do. Of course, because of the nature of “morning pages” and all of the angst that gets dumped there, I have friends who have promised to burn these pages in the event of my untimely demise. (smile!)
“Morning pages” often give me perspective. I find that as I start my spill onto the pages, I am full of junk. It often comes out in torrents. But then a shift takes place and I begin to see a little more clearly. I begin to process the next step I need to take. I begin to recognize the things in my life that are blocking me. Out of this time, I have developed a list of things that I try to remember each day. A credo of sorts…
Be surrendered.
Be present.
Be intentional.
Stay disciplined.
Stay focused.
Stay balanced.
Love God.
Love yourself.
Love others.
Each of these things has a profound impact on the way I live my life. For today I will talk about surrender. Another day I may share with you my thoughts on the others.
When God says “go” I must be ready to do so. If I am not completely surrendered, I will not be willing to let go of the things that I love. If you have been following my journey here or on facebook, you will know
that I have just moved to Clarkston to begin a new phase of my life. I would love to tell you that every step of the journey has been easy. But that would not be truthful. You see, it is easy to hold on to things. We may let go with one hand but if we are clinging to the way things are with even a fingernail, we are not fully surrendered.
I got rid of a LOT of things for this move. I was downsizing from a four-bedroom to a two-bedroom house. I pitched and donated and reallocated bags and boxes full of items. I determined that the memories were in my heart and I no longer needed the physical, tangible “things” to remember the moments. When I would question myself and struggle, I would think of some of my new dear friends and their stories of fleeing their countries for survival. “How much do you really need?” I would ask myself.
But those who were standing in my kitchen putting away dishes in my new house can tell you I wasn’t fully done yet. There were things that wouldn’t fit and I needed to make decisions in the moment that were painful. Would I let go or would I hold on? I knew the word God gave me. It was “simplify.” I have realized that surrender is going to take me through another layer of myself before I am done. And even then I will probably need to surrender more.
It is not what I have in my hands that will remain. It is the imprint I have left on the world. May it be an imprint that looks more and more like Jesus. “Father, let my new home be filled with people and not just things. May it be filled with joy and not just stuff. Let worship hang in the air so that those who enter can breathe it in and be changed. Let me be changed. I surrender all.”