“And the Lord God formed man out of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul.”
This has been my life verse for the past few years. God has been breathing into me the breath of life. We often don’t see how we give up on the life we have been given. So many times we squander the little pieces that are a part of the bigger picture. We let go when we should be holding fast. And sometimes we hold too tightly to things that are filling up and crowding out the space that is needed to be who God created us to be.
I had a space like this in my house. This room was an office/music room. It had two desks and a computer and the walls were filled with plaques and gold and platinum records. It was a place that showed the accolades of a life spent in the music industry of Nashville. And while I am grateful for the life God granted, it was not the climax of the story. It was merely a page in the book. A few years ago,
my life shifted. After my divorce, I found that I no longer wanted to go in that room. It represented the end. I could not remove the room from my house, so I chose to disenfranchise myself from all that it represented. When there were things in my life that I did not want to deal with, I would drop them on one of the desks. If there were “memories” that hurt, I would dump them in the room. The “music room” it was called. But there was no more music. Music was something we had done together. And so music had to be shut down. The room stayed this way for three years. The piles grew. And so did the
angst.
In 2008, my life began to shift again. I didn’t see it at first. In reality, I was fighting against it with all the energy I had. But God had a plan. God had not taken away music. I had turned it off. God had not removed His gifts and talents. I had put them away. But God had a path and He set me on it. “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a future and a hope.”Jeremiah 29:11
One day I woke up and decided that my grandchildren needed music in their lives. I’m not exactly sure what prompted this awakening but it was time. It was painful. But it had to be done. I started cleaning out the mess in my heart. And then I started cleaning out the mess in the room. I had started calling it the “grieving room.” It took me two months. But I did it. I emptied the room. I carried out six trash bags of “stuff.” I sold the computer. I bought new curtains. I found art for the walls. I bought back (redeemed) the guitar that my daughter had sold. And I moved in a piano that was given to me by a friend who knew the importance of this space in my journey. It became the “birthing room” because it was a new place with a new heartbeat for a new life.
Since that time, the room has become the center of a Songwriting Circle that meets once a month. It has hosted students from Proskuneo Worship Institute that needed a place to press through the songs they were writing. Another friend added to my space by giving me a djembe. And yet another friend hand-made a cajon as a gift for Christmas this past year.
This weekend I tried something completely new. I would say it was out of character for me, but those of you who have been following my journey will recognize it as just another step in the process. I invited several of our international friends to come out for a worship night. Two came –along with several of the local PWI (Proskuneo Worship Institute) students. Several of us shared passages of Scripture which we read in French, Spanish, English, Zo and Karen (two languages/people groups of Burma). We sang in Swahili, Spanish, Karen, and English. We ate together. We laughed together. We danced together. I had moments when it was hard not to cry. There were times when I just wanted to sit and soak it in.
A friend just put it into words for me…”the redemption of the music room.” And I will add – the redemption of my life. My life reborn. As I have stated in several of my recent posts – I don’t know what God is up to, but I am along for the ride and am enjoying every moment. And with God's breath in my nostrils, I once again became a living soul. Thanks again for being on this journey with me.