an arduous journey. It seemed like I could barely close the door on one trial before another one began. There was no time to grieve, or mourn, or recover. I am thankful for God’s sustaining grace. It was delivered to my door each time I needed it. It met me in the early light to remind me that God’s mercies are new
every morning. It was the pillow that caught my tears in the late night watches.
I will be the first to say that this year has brought tremendous blessings to my life as well. I have discovered unexpected and lasting friendships that are deep and powerful. I have learned to receive as well as give. I have been pushed out of my comfort zone into whole worlds beyond my own and found that the adventure was greater than the fear of the unknown. I have stepped into “shoes” that were terrifying and new and learned that God will direct my footsteps. I once again found the voice inside me that was silenced over thirty years ago, and I have every intention of letting God redeem the time.
I am standing at the precipice of a new year. While I wish for a glimpse into 2013 I know that, had I been given a peek into 2012, I would have clung to December with white knuckles and torn fingernails. I cannot believe all that God has brought me through – bad and good. I don’t know what I might have to face this next year. I pray that God will meet me as “gracefully” as He did this year.
But tonight, I am weary. And for tonight, I would rather sit and cry than celebrate. I would like a sabbatical. But I know that even in my weakness He will show Himself strong. And I am willing to walk through whatever He sends my way. I trust Him. I have finally learned to trust Him. I’m sure I will still question “why.” I will also, no doubt, fail miserably. But He won’t. He has shown me His sovereignty over and over again.
So, while all of the fireworks and cheering go on around me, I am quiet on this New Year’s Eve. For tonight I will rest so that I am ready when I wake. It’s a new day. It’s a new year. I will make no resolutions other than to live each day to its fullest and with no regrets – my all for His glory.
I wish you all a blessed New Year!