Judas is one of those fellows in Scripture with whom one would rather not associate. But as I approach the Lenten season with eyes wide open, I cannot help but pull back the veil to reveal a stained heart. It would be easy to be aghast when I read how Judas took the thirty pieces of silver to buy a place for himself far away from the turmoil in Jerusalem at the time. But when I take a closer look, there is a tiny mirror reflecting an image that looks a little like me.
Apparently Judas was the financier of the disciples. John 12:6 tells us that he was “keeper of the money bag.” I wonder how he first got this job. Was he a person who watched the bottom line? I can understand this. I grew up in a pastor’s home where we lived by faith. We were frugal with what we were given so I learned the fine art of making a little go a long way. Maybe he just wanted to make sure they were going to cover expenses. He was good with money and was going to keep them from overspending. After all, no one else cared about this detail. But the fact that he was trusted made it easy to pilfer. A few coins here and there – no one would even see that they were missing.
Why did he start taking money? What turned his heart to evil? Perhaps he grew tired of living alongside this Son of Man who had no place to lay His head. Maybe he grew disillusioned with this King who had no desire for grandeur or greatness, but who humbled Himself as a servant. It is possible that Judas’ practical side left little room for faith in a God who owns the cattle on a thousand hills and yet chose to give His life away.
Many question Judas’ role as a disciple. Did Jesus not see who he was? Why was he not taken to task for his thievery and deceit? I think that Judas offers a stark reminder that sin easily besets us. Judas got entangled in his one vice … the love of money. Judas’ lack of faith opened the door for the enemy of his soul, Satan, to work his way into his thoughts. And before he knew it, he was scheming and plotting to make sure he got out with a little piece of the action and a little pocket change when his leader fell.
Judas reminds me that “there but for the grace of God…”
Do you ever lose sight of who God really is?
Do you ever lose hope in the eternal and give yourself over to the temporal?
When God does not do things as you would do them, does a little bit of Judas rise up within you?
Do you take matters into your own hands to make sure that you are covered if God doesn’t come through for you?
As I move toward the cross in this Lenten season, I know that sin is a captor. But I also know that God’s ways are higher than my ways and I must guard my thoughts. Because I don’t want to walk the road that he walked, I yield my Judas heart so that I might live in the fullness of His amazing grace.
Betrayal
My Judas hand holds fast the thought
That you might yet betray me
To leave me here with bitter naught
So still my heart does sway me.
If I grasp Your face
Your sweet embrace
One deep breath in - amazing grace,
But one shallow gasp
To fear I clasp
And hope is lost without a trace.
Never quite do I curse Your name
But doubt becomes my gallows
I take the silver and its shame
And hide within the shadows.
If I grasp Your face
Your sweet embrace
One deep breath in - amazing grace,
But one shallow gasp
To fear I clasp
My destiny and hope erased.