Why did I not know what I know now when I was young? When I was young I could have gone. I could have made a difference. Now I wonder what good is left in me to do. The more I learn the more I weep for the lost time. Not regret necessarily - but for the broken lives that no one saved and for those whose voices still whisper a prayer in the darkest night. I would not call myself a radical. But I am feeling a profound shift in how I view the world. There are days when I am about to burst from the pounding in my chest. Yes, my heart beats for another place.
Heaven is real – or so the movie tells me. Of course I’ve known it all along. It is real. And it is waiting for me. But I don’t think it is ready for me yet. I could be wrong. But I hope that the God who just awakened my dead soul, would be gracious enough to let me see a little more of His glory revealed. If not, I pray that I will breathe my last breath fighting for those whose voices are being silenced. Because I also believe that Hell is real. And I have come to know that there are little pieces of it right here on earth.
You see, I say refugee and you may hear immigrant. But they are not the same. I did not know this two short years ago. An immigrant “migrates to another country, usually for permanent residence.” A refugee “flees for safety, especially to a foreign country, in time of political upheaval or war.” How did I not know this? Because it never mattered to me before. But when God pricked my heart in the middle of the night, it woke me from my slumber.1 I stepped out from behind my stained-glass windows to get a different view. There is world at war and I spend my days with those who have seen it first-hand. I cannot tell you all that I have learned. I can try. But I cannot do it justice. They could tell you. But that is a story between you and them.
I remember the three pivotal days when faces took on names. And projects became friends. I had to stop moving forward at a pace that blurred my vision so I could finally see. God has me on a journey. But it He has taken me down a different road than I had planned – a war-torn road. I cannot explain why I see a picture of the refugee camps in Thailand and long to be there. I don’t have the words to tell you how my heart aches to see it for myself. I don’t know exactly what God has prepared for me. I am willing to give my life. I am not asking you to come along with me. But I might ask if you would be willing to send me.
* Comfortably Numb, 2/24/1013
If you are interested in watching a couple of short films that can connect your heart to Burma, you can leave a comment below and I will send you some links via email. I prefer not to post them here as they can be a little graphic.