My passion to learn was growing and so I asked one day if they knew of someone that would be willing to tutor me. I was elated the day I got a facebook message telling me they had found someone. I was terrified the first time I went to visit her at her house. I kept thinking “you are old, Becky. You will never
be able to get this.”
Well, I can’t say that I am a stellar student. But I have been faithfully learning. And my teacher has become a treasured friend. I have gone to church with her on many occasions. She has attended concerts with me. She and her husband have been to my home a couple of times. And I have spent many hours in their living room singing, learning, talking, celebrating weddings and birthdays, and just being. There are very few places on earth that feel like “home” to me. But her living room has become one of them.
Which brings me to today. (You see, I told you I would keep it short!) Today I received a new name. My friend decided it was time that I have a Tedim name. I wanted to weep, but the joy kept me from doing so. I could not explain to my friend why I felt like crying. She thought I was sad. No – not sad. I felt something that I am not sure I can put into words. I do not know what it feels like to be adopted…but in my mind, I think that this might be the closest analogy I can come to. A feeling of “belonging”. This friend has become like a sister to me. Her family has embraced me and tried to understand me. And they have let me embrace them and try to understand their culture. And they have let me share their language. What a privilege.
I am grateful that God has given me a friend that makes me feel like family. And as a part of her family, she has given me the name Nuam Boih. I cannot tell you how special this is to my soul.
I think many of us go through times in life when we are looking for a place to truly belong. I believe that this is often the reason for turning our hearts to Christ – knowing He loves us as we are and that He embraces us home whether we are the long lost sheep, the prodigal son, or an honored prince/princess. I remember walking the aisle as a child and accepting Christ’s love as I understood it then. He had loved me enough to carry my shame for me, to bleed for me, to die for me. But, as a child, I had not yet known
the isolation and pain of feeling alone. As a young adult, it was this feeling that led me to seek a Father who loved me without measure and without stipulations. It was in finding this acceptance that I found my way “home”.
I had grown up knowing the God who punished. I knew well the guilt of living under a God of rules that I could not keep. It took a long time of sitting with the God who won my heart, before I truly trusted His love. There are still days when my mind wanders and I find myself asking if His occasional silence is the resulting price of my sin. And then I am reminded of His grace and His goodness. He already paid the price. All I owe is a repentant and contrite and grateful heart.
I AM grateful - for a God who loves me and calls me His friend. He will give me a new name too. Revelation 2:17 says “and I will give to him a white stone, and on the stone a new name written, which no one knows but him who receives it.”