I am going to share with you pieces of a blog called “The Value of Mentoring” that I wrote for Proskuneo Ministries earlier this year. I have added some thoughts and taken some away for the purpose of what I want to say here.
Until two years ago, I did not see myself as a mentor. I was asked to share my story” at
Proskuneo Worship Institute 2010. I have been in the Christian music industry since 1984 and I
was going to be working with young songwriters at PWI. While this task was intimidating
enough for someone who does not like to stand in front of people, I was even more terrified
because of the age demographic that I would be facing. They were primarily teenagers and twenty
-somethings! This is not an age group with whom I had much experience. (You can read the word
“avoided” into this statement!)
After my “talk”, one of the students came up to me and shared that something
had connected deeply with his heart. It took me by surprise. I was overwhelmed in the
moment that anything I had to say would have value to another human being. Since then I have
come to define mentoring as this: “Mentoring begins when you come into agreement with God
and another person that you have learned something which is worth sharing.” I had to come to
the recognition that my life experiences and the lessons learned have value in God’s economy.
I have been reading Seth Barnes’ book, “Kingdom Journeys: Rediscovering the Lost Spiritual Discipline“,
and once again I am blown away. This is what grabbed my attention tonight. He was talking about a youth pastor that took him out for a milkshake one time when he was a young man. He said “I don’t remember what we talked about, other than him communicating with me that I mattered through that simple act and by sharing an hour of his life.” I think many of us wish that we had found someone to spend an hour of their lives with us when we were in our formative years. Sadly, Seth relates that this was a one-time thing but “what’s worse, its more than some people get”.
I am going to just share two more quotes from the book and then I am going to recommend that you read it for yourself! Seth goes on to say“there’s no replacing relational connection to help people grow
spiritually. If we are to awaken a generation, discipleship is key. To go deep with people, you need to
physically be with them. It’s the difference between staring at a computer screen and sharing a milkshake with someone.”
A mentoring relationship is hard. It takes time. It takes patience. It takes giving out of yourself
even when you may not feel you have much left to give. It takes pressing in to the Heavenly
Father to see His heart for His children. For the mentee, it takes admitting that you do not yet
know it all. It is a challenge to reach out to someone you respect and to open yourself up for
critique and encouragement. But as someone who has walked this road faithfully for two years
now, I can say that it is worth every moment, every tear, every prayer, and every joy.
I said at the beginning that I have not yet claimed to be one who disciples because I believe that a disciple is one that follows and I do not feel ready to be followed. I have some disciplines to cultivate in my life. I am willing. And I have accepted the challenge to work on those areas because I do believe that the church, as a whole, is lacking in this area of discipleship and I want to be able to stand in the gap. In the meantime, I will continue to “mentor” with God’s grace.
The call to discipleship is not an easy one. But think of yourself at 16, 18, or 21 years old. I know I would have given anything to have someone who cared enough to sit with me for an hour a week. As Seth said – it leaves an impression that lasts a lifetime.
Following are some notes that I have written down to share with those who may find that they too are challenged to mentor/disciple.
1. Be willing to be “inconvenienced”. It takes time and energy.
2. Be willing to truly listen. Most of the conversations I have with mentees have very little to
do with songwriting. It is usually the “life” stuff that trips them up and makes them
question. Hearing what is behind the words that are being said will open up the doors to
effective communication.
3. Be willing to invest. Much of my mentoring is done long-distance. While my words have a
measure of weight, I know that my presence makes a huge difference. So occasionally, I
make a trek to be face-to-face.
4. Be willing to admit your short-comings. Perfect people cannot mentor effectively. It is our
failures and our messes that brought us the greatest lessons. Without them, we would
have nothing to share. Be real. Allow yourself to need forgiveness.
I know that this is not my "normal" blog. But this is what was on my heart tonight. It doesn't matter how
old you are. There are those who are younger than you who would benefit from having someone listen and pour into their lives.
“The Value of Mentoring”
http://proskuneo.org/2012/04/the-value-of-mentoring-by-becky-thurman/
“Kingdom Journeys: Rediscovering the Lost Spiritual Discipline” by Seth Barnes http://kingdomjourneysbook.com/